Quotes by Ilona Andrews

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All men are liars. All women are liars, too. more...

Outside the windows the day was bright: golden sunshine, blue sky, pleasant wind . . . I wanted to punch the happy day in the face, grab it by the hair, and beat it until it told me what the hell it was so happy about. more...

Look at my big teeth. I'm an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome more...

Still think she is worth it?" Mahon asked quietly. "Of course. She is my mate." Mahon sighed. "So you decided then." "Do you think we'd be laying here bleeding in the snow if I wasn't sure?" "Good point. more...

Rene looked at Grendel. "What in the world is that?" "That's our mutant attack poodle," I told her. "Is he chewing on a gun? more...

Ted said, "You're working for the Order now." "Yes." "How does it feel?" "Well, Doctor, it feels rather sore and tingly. more...

There was something very comforting about him, and I was not sure if it was his easy manner or his complete immunity to my scowling. more...

Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample. more...

As one, the shapechangers turned and looked at me. I wondered what they'd do if I asked to borrow a cup of sugar. more...

What happened to the alpha-wolf?" "LEGOs." "Legos?" It sounded Greek but I couldn't recall anything mythological with that name. Wasn't it an island? "He was carrying a load of laundry into the basement and tripped on the old set of LEGOs his kids left on the stairs. Broke two ribs and an ankle. more...

Oh, it's you," Curran's voice said quietly. "I thought it was an elephant. more...

The monster licked his lips, long lines of whiskers twitching, and spoke in a deep growl. "Pretty, aren't I?" Curran. In midform. I broke from his gaze. "Adorable. more...

Screwy," I said. "Is that a medical term?" "Of course. more...

He said, 'Yeah, but will I get chicks? In truckloads? more...

Had he expected me to hump her leg? more...

He referred to you as his little snack." "He's a sweetie. more...

What do you do to your hair?" "Dust, hair gel, and a little gun oil." "Ever thought of patenting the recipe?" "No. more...

You snore worse. At least I don't turn into a lion in my sleep." "I only did it once." "Once was weird enough, thank you. more...

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You'd make a fortune. more...

I prefer the term 'sexual deviant' myself," Saiman said. more...

Would you like to assist me with my choice of underwear as well?" My sarcasm whistled right over his head. "I would be delighted. While I'd love to see you in a balconette bra, I'm afraid for this particular occasion I would have to go with a foam-lined seamless due to the tight fit of the garment across your breasts . . . Perhaps I could come over and review what you have available . . . more...

Long strands of drool stretched from between his fangs and dripped on the pavement, sending a heady scent of jasmine to swirl through the air. Perfumed monster spit. What was the world coming to? more...

Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she'd hook me up with a clue more...

You sure you don't want to kiss me good-bye, baby? more...

He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. "Rape," he promised. "Many, many times. Until you bleed . . ." "I'm so flattered. more...

And did you have to hack his arms off?" "Yes, I did. He wouldn't go through the door." "You say it like you're proud of it." I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation. more...

She eats grass. Don't ask. more...

Why the rifle? Everybody knows you can't shoot." Who were these everybodies and would they like to stand in front of me, preferably within ten feet, so I could discuss this issue in greater detail. more...

You need a name." I covered the receiver for a moment. "We need a team name." "Hunters," Raphael said. "Valiant Knights of the Fur," Dali said. "Justice Group," Jim said. "Since Justice League is taken." "Fools." Doolittle shook his head. "Fools," I said into the receiver. more...

Settle down, Princess. It's not my first time. more...

Let's talk." I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required. more...

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies don't look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you've got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right? more...

What do you think?" he asked, his voice deep and commanding. I eyed him. "Impressive, but too much." He leaned toward me, the blue eyes smoky with a promise I was shure he could fulfill. I tried not to think of the bedroom. "Too much?" "Yes. I like the menace. It's very masculine, but he looks like he would screw everything in sight and call me 'wench more...

Curran and I mixed about as well as glycerin and nitric acid: put us together, shake a bit, and hit the deck as we exploded. more...

Jack didn't fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still didn't comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus' necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar couldn't stop laughing and had to sit down. more...

Bran grabbed my hand,pulled me to a chest, and swung the heavy lid open. A white cloth covered the contents. He jerked it aside. Human heads filled the chest. "Oh God." He scooped a mummified head from the chest by a scalp lock and thrust it at me. "All of them are mine." This was officially the weirdest version of "come down to my place and I'll show you some etchings" I've ever been hit with. more...

Kate had never met a person she didn't want to protect, preferably by hacking at the hostile parties with her sword. more...

Who is there with you?" "Raphael" Kate's voice snapped. "I'll be in Atlanta in three hours. Where are you?" "I said it's nothing major." "Bullshit. You wouldn't work with Raphael unless the Apocalypse was imminent and that was the only way to prevent it. more...

Did I ever tell you that you are like sunshine in the middle of the night? more...

Cajun stomp?" "You heard me, swamper. And keep your hands to yourself. more...

Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I don't mind being a bit like you. I hope you don't mind being a bit like me. more...

Kate, perhaps you need to explain to your significant other that he is in no position to give me orders. Last time I checked, his title was Beast Lord, which is a gentle euphemism for a man who strips nude at night and runs around through the woods hunting small woodland creatures. I'm a premier Master of the Dead. I will go where I please. more...

Enough," Curran said. An unmistakable command saturated his voice. Jim clicked his mouth shut. I crossed my arms. "I'm sorry, is this the part where I fall to my knees and shiver in fear, Your Furriness? Silly me, I didn't get the memo. more...

This is payback, isn't it?" Jim glared at me. "Don't be ridiculous," I told him. "As the Consort of the Pack, I'm far above petty revenge. more...

Curran gave me a flat look. "I can always drive to a burger joint instead." "Oh, so you'd throw a burger down my throat and expect making out in the back seat?" He grinned. "We can do it in the front seat instead, if you prefer. Or on the hood of the car." "I'm not doing it on the hood of the car." "Is that a dare?" Why me? more...

Some men got excited by white lace and a translucent negligee. My love muffin got excited by a woman dressed to murder. There was probably something deeply twisted about that. Lucky for me, negligees were never my thing. more...

And how did your day go?" I asked Ascanio. He turned to me, a dreamy look on his pretty face. "We killed things. There was blood. Fountains of blood. And then we had barbecue. more...

Tall, with skin the color of rich coffee, and dressed all in black, Jim looked like he was carved from a block of solid muscle. Logic said that at some point he must've been a baby and then a child, but looking at him one was almost convinced that some deity touched the ground with its scepter and proclaimed, "There shall be a badass," and Jim sprung into existence, fully formed, complete with clothes, and ready for action. more...

I split the omelet between the plates and stopped when Curran's arms closed about me. He pulled me against him, pressing my back against his chest. I heard him inhale my scent. His lips grazed my temple. Here we were, alone, in my kitchen, holding each other while breakfast cooled on the table. This was some sort of alternate universe, with a different Kate, who wasn't hunted like a wild animal and who could have these sorts of things. "What's up?" I asked softly. "Just making sure you know you're caught. more...

I'm sorry about the dinner." "Best date ever. Well, until people died and vampires showed up. But before that it was awesome. more...

I can make some calls. There is a guy. Dagfinn Heyerdahl. He used to be with Norse Heritage Foundation." Norse Heritage Foundation wasn't so much about heritage as it was about viking, in the most cliche sense of the world. They drank huge quantities of beer, they brawled, and they wore horned helmets despite all historical evidence to the contrary. "Used to be?" Curran asked. "They kicked him out for being drunk and violent." Curran blinked. "The Norse Heritage?" "Mhm." "Don't you have to be drunk and violent just to get in?" he asked. "Just how disorderly did he get? more...

I have a vamp body for you," Andrea said. "It's in the freezer." I gave her a nice smile. "You shouldn't have. more...

A girl half my age swept by and slammed two giant tankard filled with beer on the table. Ragnvald held his up. I smashed my tankard against his. Beer splashed. We raised the tankard and pretended to take much bigger gulps than we did. more...

I reached over and squeezed Curran's hand. "Come on, you, me, a platter of barely seared meat, it will be great. If we see the navigators, we can make fun of the way they hold their forks. more...

Who is that?" "Your replacement." "You replaced me with a shaved poodle?" "He's got mad skills. more...

Mmmm, Kate, the Chief of Security. Sexy. Who better to guard my body then the woman who owns it?" "Curran, I will punch you. more...

Strawberry Shortcake called, she wants her outfit back more...

When a lion stalks a herd, he sneaks in close, lies down, and surveys them to choose his victim. He takes his time. The deer or buffalo have no idea he's near. He finds his prey and then he explodes from his hiding place and grabs it. Even if another, perfectly serviceable animal ends up within his reach, he isn't going to alter his course. He has chosen, and he would rather go hungry than change his mind. more...

Cats randomly refuse to follow orders to prove they can. more...

Crazy Curran ranked right up there with monsoons, tornadoes, earthquakes, and other natural disasters. more...

There is no such thing as privacy between a deity and his worshipper. There are no secrets, no glossed-over failures. Only promises kept and abandoned, sins committed and imagined, and raw emotion. How many of us are ready to have our lives judged? What would happen if we were found wanting? more...

The lion has to stay outside" "He won't like it" The lion shook his mane. I looked at Curran. The lion melted. Skin stretched, bones twisted, and human Curran straightened. He was completely nude. Gloriously nude. "Well," Hrefna said. "I always wondered why you went all shapeshifter. Explain things. more...

The Dude just pounded his way in a straight line, convinced that the lion was a figment of his imagination and that the vampire ahead of him was just Grendel's deformed mutant brother. more...

Is there any chance you'd overthrow the tyrannical Beast Lord and his psychotic consort?" "Yeah, I want a vacation." -Kate & Curran to Jim more...

People think I built the Pack, because I'm the guy who has the welfare of all shapeshifters in mind. They're wrong. Everything I built, I did so that when I mate and have children, nobody can touch my family. (...) I built all this so I can protect you. more...

I almost had her." Curran nodded. "I heard. And you could've taken her, too." My voice came out flat. "Rub it in, why don't you." He grinned. "No time for that now, maybe later." I closed my eyes. There wouldn't be any later. "Are you imagining me rubbing it in?" he asked. more...

We should clap or something." Curran said. "She's trying so hard. more...

If you come back to me, I'll never leave you", I whispered into the furry ear. "I'll make you all the pies you could ever eat. more...

Why were you in a vehicle with Kate, alone? What were you wearing? What was she wearing? How long were you there? Did you do something or did you talk? What was the nature of your discussion? Could this trip have been avoided?" I rubbed my face. "So basically you're scared that His Lordship might get his panties in a bunch?" "That's one way to put it. more...

After I chased the werewolf and the vampire out of my office, I changed my clothes. more...

George turned to her. His blue eyes widened. His lovely face took on a forlorn, deeply troubled expression. He leaned forwar, and, in a theatrical whisper, said, 'My past is tragic. I wouldn't want to burden you with it. It's a pain I must suffer alone. In the rain. In silence. more...

The heavy eyelids snapped open. Jack froze. A huge gold-and-amber eye, as big as a dinner plater, stared at him. The dark pupil shrank, focusing. Jack stood very still. The colossal head turned, the scaled lip only three feet from Jack. The golden eyes gazed at him, wirling with fiery color. Jack breathed in tiny, shallow breaths. Dont blink. Don't blink... Two gusts of wind erutped from the wyvern's nostrils Jack jumped straight up, bounced off the ground into another jump, and scrambled up the nearest tree. In the clearing, Gaston bent over, guffawing like an idiot. 'It's not funny! more...

We were not finished yet, not even close. I could still smell her. I remembered what she felt like. What she tasted like. This wasn't a casual sexual thing. This was a mating. I would have Kate as my mate. Whatever it took, no matter how long, she would be with me. more...

In a perfect world, Joshua?s vertically gifted murderer would?ve had himself a monologue before rampaging, during which he loudly and clearly would?ve announced his full name, occupation, religious preference, preferably with his god?s country and time period of origin, his goals, dreams, and aspirations, and the location of his lair. But nobody had ever accused post-Shift Atlanta of being perfect. more...

He isn't so much flirting," Cerise murmured. "Either he doesn't like me or he doesn't know how." "Of course he likes you. You're lovely. He probably just doesn't get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. "I thought I'd have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message. more...

You're like a god from a Greek myth, Saiman. You have no empathy. You have no concept of the world beyond your ego. Wanting something gives you an automatic right to obtain it by whatever means necessary with no regard to the damage it may do. I would be careful if I were you. Friends and objects of deities' desires dropped like flies. In the end the gods always ended up miserable and alone." - Kate Daniels more...

He had the prettiest hair she had ever seen on a man: dark brown, almost black, and soft like sable, it fell down to his shoulders. She wondered what he'd do if she threw some mud in it. Probably kill her. more...

A forest," William said, his expression distant. "Where the ground is dry soil and stone. Where tall trees grow and centuries of autumn carpet their roots. Where the wind smells of game and wildflowers." "Why, that was lovely, Lord Bill. Do you ever write poetry? Something for your blueblood lady?" "No." "She doesn't like poetry?" "Leave it." Hehe. "Oh, so you have a lady. How interes- more...

You say the sweetest things. And that spaghetti perfume you're wearing is to die for. No hobo could resist." She snarled. Heh. more...

Failure happened. The trick was to accept the risk and try anyway. more...

She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?" He showed her his teeth. "Yes. more...

You call that evening the odds? You demolished them." Demolished. He liked that. "I left you one." "I noticed." "I promised to share," he told her. "Manners are very important in the Weird. Lying would be quite impolite. more...

She put her hand on her hip. "Where are you going?" "To the boat. You called me Lord Bill again. That means we're cool." Cerise slapped her forehead with the heel of her hand and followed him. more...

Some women waited for a night in shining armor. She, apparently, had ended up with a knight in black jeans and leather, who wanted to chase her down and have his evil way with her. more...

I realized that I'm a child." William looked point-blank at her chest. "No. more...

Life was too short and ended too suddenly. If you didn't take advantage of what you had today, tomorrow it might be ripped from you. more...

Behind him Kaldar nudged Urow's youngest son. "Bet you he lasts at least thirty seconds." "Um..." Gaston looked at him. "No he won't." "Bet me something." "I don't have anything." Kaldar grimaced. "Pick up that rock." Gaston swiped the rock off the ground. "Now you have a rock. I bet this five bucks against your rock." Gaston grinned. "Deal. more...

You said he was a soldier. You don't suppose...?" "Oh, Gods." Ignata blinked. "You think something could be wrong down there?" All of them looked at William, who chose this precise moment to slide the wet shirt back on his back, which required him to flex, raising his arms. "That would be a shame," Cerise murmured. more...

It depends. If I don't let you in, will you huff and puff and blow my house down?" She had no idea. "I'm more of a kick the door open and cut everyone inside to ribbons kind of wolf. more...

Oh, Gods." His eyes shone with want and predatory satisfaction. "The name's William. It's a common mistake. more...

It could be worse," he said finally. "Efrenia married an arsonist. Jake's wife is a kleptomaniac. I suppose, a psychopathic spree killer isn't that odd of a choice, considering. more...

This doesn't mean you're getting a discount." Audrey heaved a mock sigh. "Oh well. I guess I'll have to ply you with sexual favors, then." Gnome choked on the soup. "I'm old enough to be your grandfather!" Audrey winked at him, gathering the empty bags. "But you're not. more...

An evil spark flared in his eyes. "Trade: raccoon for some answers. more...

Did I hurt you in the parking lot?" "No, m'lady. I fell, so I could put a tracker on your car." Great. more...

Kaldar smiled at her. Now there was a work of art. If she were just a girl and he were just a man, and they met at a party, that smile would've guaranteed him a date. The man was hot. There was no doubt. But right now, all it would get him was a solid punch in those even teeth. Audrey laughed. "Aren't you sweet? Tell me, do girls usually throw their panties at you when you do that?" He grinned wider, and she glimpsed the funny evil spark in his eyes. "Do men throw money when you do your little Southern belle? more...

Oh, I don't know. I might grow on you." She furrowed her pretty eyebrows. "Like a cancer?" "Like a favorite vice. more...

At the door, Audrey called, "Are you coming?" "No, just breathing hard, love." He glanced at her and was rewarded by an outraged glare, followed by, "Oh, my God! more...

The only way to make sure that the Hand didn't get to you would have been to kill your brother. I could've done it, but I didn't. I just gave him some drugs." "You gave an addict in rehab drugs, and you want credit for it?" "Of course it sounds bad when you put it that way. more...

Ask a man how much a dollar is worth, and he'll tell you, 'Almost nothing.' Try to take a dollar away from him, and you'll get yourself a fight. more...

When walking into the lair of the dragon after robbing his hoard, the least you could do is hold you head high [...] more...

Just stay close to us. If we get in trouble, we'll kill everything. more...

And I meant to tell you: that was a one-in-a-thousand shot." She raised her hand. "Don't." "It was awesome," George confirmed. "It really was," Jack said. "His head exploded. more...

Living in your dreams meant bitter disappointment when you woke up. more...

I've got a gig," Jim said. I sat up in my bed, wide-awake. A gig was good- I needed the money. "Half." "Third." "Half." "Thirty-five percent." Jim's voice hardened. "Half." The phone went silent as my former Guild partner mulled it over. "Okay, forty." I hung up.(...) The phone rang. I let it ring twice before I picked it up. "Fine." Jim's voice had a hint of a snarl in it. "Half. more...

What's with the cute shoelace on your head?" "What this?" He flicked the end of the cord with his finger. "Yeah. Rambo called, he wants his bandana back. more...

Who are you, what are you doing here, who is Hood, why does he want Julie, and where is Julie's mother?" "Is that all!" He wiped the red smudge off his lip with the back of his hand. "Yes. No. Why is the cauldron important, where did it go, how is Morrigan involved, where do you go when you disappear, and why do you keep stealing the maps? Okay, now that's everything. more...

You do realize you just insulted me, right?" "How so?" "You implied that I can't protect her or my people." I looked at him. "That's not at all what I meant." "Apologize and I'll let it go." I kept my hands firmly on the iron rail before me. Grabbing the weight bar and walloping the Beast Lord upside the head wouldn't be the best diplomatic move. "I'm sorry, Your Majesty." There. I was civil. It almost killed me. more...

The Beast Lord walked out of the warehouse. The screen went dark. My knight in furry armor. Saiman opened his mouth. "This is why I didn't. Personally, I think your smile is inappropriate. more...

The pervert." "He prefers to think of himself as sexual deviant." "Semantics. more...

You're screening your calls?" "Why not? It saves me from conversations with idiots." "Is that an insult?" His voice dropped into a deep growl. "You're not an idiot," I told him. "You're just a deadly psychopath with a god complex.(...) more...

No. I don't go through your things. I just come once in a while to make sure you're in one piece. I like knowing you're safe, asleep in your bed. I haven't stolen anything... more...

Sometimes, when you crave certain feelings, you'll trick yourself into thinking the other person is something other than what he apears. more...

If the sky could dream, it would dream of dragons. more...

The universe shrank to Curran and his pain. I had to break him free. Nothing else mattered. more...

What is he doing here?" Curran growled. "He's Roland's Warlord. He's here for me." He was here for the woman who had broken his master's blade. "Tough luck. You're mine. more...

He caressed my cheek. "You came for me," I whispered. "Always," he told me. more...

I gave him my hard stare. "You're a control freak and I fight all authority. And you want us to mate?" A wicked spark lit his eyes. "Many, many times. more...

Amy," Elsie Moore said in her crackling voice, her gaze fixed on Declan. "I want you to get me a new bear. A blond one. more...

Saiman picked up a coffee mug, stared at it, and hurled it against the wall. It shattered into a dozen pieces. We looked at him. "Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him? more...

In diplomacy, like in great many other things, the rules of engagement survive only until one remarkable person decides to break them. more...

On your best day, you're only as good as I am on my worst with one arm tied behind my back. more...

You're problem is, you underestimate me because I'm a woman. more...

You said sloppy! Look, I didn't even use my sword; I hit him with my head, like a moron. more...

I glanced at Derek. The boy wonder didn't melt into a pile of goo, although his gaze was glued to Rowena's chest. Avoiding eye contact. Good strategy. more...

You like the girl," Alasdair offered. Nassar leveled a heavy gaze at him. "Lillian said you tried to be funny in the car. I told her it couldn't possibly be true. The moment you try to make a joke, the sky shall split and the Four Horsemen will ride out, heralding Apocalypse. more...

Do you know what separates adults from children? Self-discipline. We don't want to go to work, we don't want to do our chores, and we don't want to make unpleasant decisions, but we do all those things because we're aware of the consequences which will follow if we don't. more...

She could've stared into those eyes for a thousand years and never noticed the time passing by. more...

It a dude and a girl, and the house and wooo scary things happen and then they kill everything. more...

I do shodo magic," Dali said. "I curse through calligraphy. I have to write the curse out on a piece of paper and I can't move while I do it. One smudge, and I might kill the lot of us." Oh good. "But don't worry." Dali waved her arms. "It's so precise, it usually doesn't work at all." Better and better. more...

I flexed my wrist, popped a silver needle into my palm, and offered it to him. 'What's this?' 'A needle.' 'What should I do with it?' He'd walked right into it. Too easy. 'Please use it to pop your head. It's obscuring my view of the room.' - Kate & Saiman more...

I've never seen such a collection of idiots in my whole life.' Doolittle shook his head. 'If you participate in this lunacy, y'all will get yourselves killed. Then don't come crying to me.' Now that would be a neat trick. more...

If the lot of you survives, Curran will fray the skin off your backs,' Doolittle said. 'That's what I always love about you, Doctor.' Raphael grinned. 'You're a cup-halfway-full kind of guy. All flowers and sunshine. more...

Just once I want it to be easy and neat. But no, there is never a good decision. I pick what I can live with. more...

He raised his hand in a peaceful gesture. "You need to relax a bit, dove. Like Mouse over there. You trust me, don't you, Mouse?" "Nope!" "Ahhh, I'm hurt. Nobody likes me. more...

Secret to what?" "Secret to shutting you up," he said. "I just have to beat you till you're half-dead, then give you chicken soup and"-he raised his hands-"blessed silence. more...

I had to give it him, to flatter and insult a woman in one propostition took talent. more...

He lunged for the maps. I grabbed the chair and hit him with it. He went down. I hit him again to make sure he stayed that way, stepped over him, and picked up the maps. "I win. more...

In there?' She nodded. 'You want us to go into the tortoise?' Another nod. 'It's alive.' Another nod. more...

Nice plan. Take the gullible outsiders, walk them around for a bit, then feed them to the giant tortoise. more...

You know," she said, stirring her tea, "the fastest way to get him off your back is to sleep with him. And tell him you love him. Preferably while in bed." I smirked and the tea almost came out of my nose. "He'd run like he was on fire. more...

If you don't explain it all to me, I might strangle somebody." Of course, Raphael might like that... more...

The Oracle rose. As one, the three witches bowed. "See?" Bran jerked his thumb at the three women. "That's how a woman should treat a man. Next time you see me, I want you to do just like them. more...

The decorator of Las Colimas must have been a great admirer of both early Aztec and late Taco Bell architectural styles. more...

When life backs you into a corner and offers you no escape, when your friends, your lover, and your family abandon you, when you're at the end of your rope, panicked, alone, and losing your mind, you know you'd give anything to make your problems go away. Then, desperate and eager, you will come to Unicorn Lane, seeking salvation in its magics and secrets. You'll do anything, pay any price. Unicorn Lane will take you in, shroud you in its power, fix your problems, and exact its price. And then you will learn what 'anything' really means. more...

On the other hand it was bad manners to look a gift horse in the mouth. Even if you're getting it from an overweight cracker in a fringe shirt. more...

You know anything about investigative work?" "Sure. Annoy the people involved until the guilt party tries to make you go away. more...

I thought of telling him that if it wasn't for Oklahoman cowboys and Mexican whores having a bit of fun, there would've been no Texans, but that would be counterproductive. more...

What kind of shapeshifter has orange fur anyway?" "Weredingo." Now I'd seen everything. Well, at least he didn't steal my baby. more...

I lied. I need your help." "Who are we killing?" "Do you have a pen? more...

Kate Daniels, trained negotiator. When in possession of some valuable information, give it away to the first sexy man you see with no guarantee of return. more...

I sighed and put Slayer between the front seats. "Stay here. Guard the car." Saiman shut the door. "Is the sword sentient?" "No. But I like to pretend it is. more...

Your date appears to be hysterical," Rene told me. "You think I should slap some man into him? more...

He groaned and I saw his face. "Curran!" I would've preferred a homicidal lunatic. Oh, wait... more...

He joked while Dali cut him, mangling the words with his monstrous jaws, snarled with a pretended rage and dramatically promised to "kirrrl youraaalll for this! more...

When you walk a dog on a short leash, she's close enough to bite you. more...

He'd laugh in my face, then I'd slice him to ribbons and then he'd break my neck more...

Any messages for me?" Usually I got one or two, but mostly people who wanted my help preferred to talk in person. "Yes. Hold on." She pulled out a handful of pink tickets and recited from memory, without checking the paper. "Seven forty-two a.m., Mr. Gasparian: I curse you. I curse your arms so they wither and die and fall off your body. I curse your eyeballs to explode. I curse your feet to swell until blue. I curse your spine to crack. I curse you. I curse you. I curse you. more...

Juke glanced into her cup before tipping it down to her mouth. "Screw you!" "Now come on, sugar, you know I don't swing that way." "Whatever! more...

I'll call you," he repeated. "If you call me, I won't pick up the phone." "You will wait by the phone for my call, and when it rings, you will pick it up and you will speak to me in a civil manner. If you don't know how, ask someone. more...

When I'm with him, I can feel myself getting better. It's like he's picking up broken pieces of me and putting me back together, and I don't even know he's doing it. We never talk about it. We don't go to therapy. He just loves me and that's enough. more...

I also stole a small yellow doughnut from the box of Duncan's doughnuts in the rec room and fed it to the attack poodle in my office. He made a great production of it. First, he growled at the doughnut, just to show it who was boss. Then he nudged it with his nose. Then he licked it, until finally he snagged it into his mouth and chomped it with great pleasure, dropping crumbs all over the carpet. more...

Well, check this out. Mine is bigger. more...

I've read your summary." "And?" "It's not incompetent." Be still, my heart, so I don't faint from such faint phrase. "Did you expect it to be written in crayon? more...

Next to me, Saiman smiled. "We all want what we can't have, Kate. I want you, you want love, and he wants to break my neck. more...

And you expect me to commute two hours each way from the Keep to the Order." I kept my voice mild. "I suppose I won't be needing my job, my house, or my clothes anymore." "I didn't say that. Although let me get back to you on the clothes. It's still under consideration. more...

Hold your horses. I'm coming."... "From where I'm standing you're just breathing laboriously." The snow swam out of focus. "Breathing hard. Are you coming or just breathing hard. You've got to get your one-liners straight. more...

...they tended towards the simple pleasures in life: drinking, whoring and fighting, preferably all three at once. more...

Im's offspring stare at stars and make clocks that calculate useless happenings like the angle of a hawk's claws as it strikes its prey. They demonstrate their contraptions and everyone marvels. My children get drunk, confuse a herd of cows with an enemy regiment, and slaughter the lot, screaming like lunatics until the entire army panics. more...

Getting a lecture on restraint from the woman who threw a hissy fit and blew up Babylon. more...

When you want to take over a city, you have to destroy the illusion of safety it provides. You have to hit the large well-protected establishments, find the powerful people who run them and are viewed as invincible, and kill them. You want to destroy the morale first. Once the people's resolve is gone and everyone is scared for their own skin, the city is yours. more...

I know it may come as a shock, but it's sort of considered polite to wait for the consent of the woman. In fact, I'm pretty sure that if you don't wait, you may have to deal with pesky criminal charges like kidnapping and rape. more...

Kate Daniels, deadly swordmaster. Fear my twitching pinkie. more...

Tiny gold sparks flared in his irises. "You're in my rooms in my bathtub naked and you're still mouthing off." Did he expect anything different? "Hey, I didn't kick or punch you in the throat. I consider this progress. And you haven't choked me again, which is some sort of record for you... more...

I'm counting to ten in my head." "Is it helping?" "No." "It doesn't help me with you either. I used to life weights to alleviate frustration, but someone blowtorched my weight bench. How did you do it, by the way?" "I could tell you but then I'd have to kill you. more...

Curran struck at my wrist. His fingers were cat-quick, but I had spent my life honing my reflexes, and he missed. "Well, look at that." I studied my free wrist. "Denied. Good-bye more...

Oh no, is it naked time? more...

Jealous of the actors now, are we?" "What, of some fancy boy on the screen? Inconceivable." Oh, this was going to be good. more...

Did he just rip out the engine?" I asked. "Yes", Saiman said. "And now he is demolishing the Maserati with it." Ten seconds later Curran hurled the twisted wreck of black and orange that used to be the Maserati into the wall. The first melodic notes of an old song came from the computer. I glanced at Saiman. He shrugged. "It begged for a soundtrack. more...

Now Julie could stay here, in the Keep full of homicidal maniacs who grew teeth the size of switchblades and erupted into a violent frenzy when threatened. more...

Yes I can," Curran snarled. "Listen: this is me telling you what you will not do." I raised the cookbook and tapped him on the nose. Bad cat. more...

Rose pictured him standing at the boundary of the Ogletree house in that enormous fur cape, with a giant sword sticking over his shoulder, roaring at the top of his lungs and then being upset that nobody came out, and laughed. more...

Our standard rate. A doubloon a day." It was generous. More than generous-some families would put him up for a week for a single coin. "Half a doubloon a day," she said. "No, you see, the idea behind bargaining is that you ask for a larger amount. more...

Grandpa?" Declan raised his eyebrows. "We keep him in the shed out back," Jack said helpfully. "So he doesn't eat dog brains. more...

Rumors said that if he got drunk enough, he sometimes got his jollies by stripping naked and scaring hikers out in the Broken into thinking he was Bigfoot. more...

How are you?" "Perfectly fine," he said. "Are your ribs broken?" "Probably not. Cracked at most. We fought very carefully." "Did this settle anything?" "It made me feel better," he said, sitting up. "Did you see me kick him in the kidneys?" "I saw. more...

It became known that I had a rather fertile imagination, when it came to private activities." She stared. "What sort of private activities?" This time he did smile, and it turned his face wicked. "Disrobe, and I'll be happy to demonstrate. more...

Go home, kiss your wives, hug your children and put your affairs in order, because tomorrow I will burn your neighborhood to the ground. We will kill you, your families, your neighbors, your pets, and anyone who will stand in our path. An attack on my family will not go unpunished. more...

I'd missed him so much, it almost hurt. It started the moment I left the Keep and nagged at me all day. Every day I had to fight with myself to keep from making up bullshit reasons to call the Keep so I could hear his voice. My only saving grace was that Curran wasn't handling this whole mating thing any better. Yesterday he'd called me at the office claiming that he couldn't find his socks. We talked for two hours. more...

Too much excitement, Your Majesty?" I asked. "He was standing too close." "He was asking about Andrea." "Too close. I didn't like it." Curran wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started walking, steering me away from the group. His Possessive Majesty in all of his glory. more...

When in doubt, poke the beehive with a stick to see if anything interesting flies out. I clapped my hands. 'I had no idea Pit teams had such pretty cheerleaders. Can you do it again, but with more spirit this time? more...

The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I didn't need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now. I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet wouldn't have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation. more...

Andrea raised her hand. "This is the hand that slapped Aunt B." "Maybe you should have it gold-plated." "Here, you can touch it, since you're my best friend. more...

Congratulations, love. You traded up. Does he treat you well?' 'He's a teddy bear,' I said. Teddy bear looked like he was suffering from murder withdrawal. (Rene and Kate on Jim!) more...

Who is Hunter Becker?" "Becker the Gory? Lighthouse Keepers? Boston?" "I would've preferred Becker the Easiley Surrendering or Becker the Quite Reasonable, but beyond that his name tells me nothing. more...

Yep, Atlanta was burning. Again. more...

I turned and bumped by head against his chest a few times. It was the nearest hard surface. more...

People around me die. They drop like flies. I've gone through life leaving a trail of dead bodies behind me. My mother is dead, my guardian is dead, my aunt is dead-because I killed her, and when my real father finds me, he'll move heaven and earth to make me dead. more...

I'm going to kick you in the head when I get home. Repeatedly. more...

What do you mean fainted? Took a dive, kissed the pavement. Swooned like a southern belle after her first kiss. Had a dreadful case of the vapors. more...

Shifting in the hospital bed had blown her closet door wide open. more...

Her face looked like it would shatter any second. more...

I got a dog-training book. It says Grendel needs mental stimulation, so I tried to train him, but I think he must be retarded. more...

My investigative technique mostly consisted of going through the list of interested parties and making as much noise as possible, until the culprit lost his patience and tried to shut me up. more...

She can tell you the height of the attacker from the trigonometry of the blood spatter, while I'm fuzzy on what trigonometry is. more...

One day I'll kill him, you know. I glanced at her. She was deadly serious. more...

It was one of those idiotic things that could've been resolved in a split second. Tara had no right to touch Raphael, and once she did he had every right to punch her. She should've left it at that, and now she was dead because she didn't. more...

It was the kind of place you went when your earthly troubles became too much for you and you were looking for a creative way to commit suicide. more...

I wouldn't be able to do anything with my vampire horde except make it run around in a herd, but it would be a very impressive herd. more...

The first magic wave kicked the world in the face. more...

Had records so stellar, they had to lock their resumes in a drawer at night, so the golden light streaming from the pages wouldn't keep them awake. more...

Judging by the hard lines of his face and the flat look in his eyes, he'd left the Marines, but the Corps hadn't quite left him. more...

I know people who will gently persuade you to be forthcoming. more...

Whatever storm was brewing, I'd find it and fight it. If it was the price of being with Curran, then I would pay it. He was worth it. more...

Some men were handsome. Some were powerful. Curran was...dangerous. more...

It was his eyes. When you looked into them, you saw chained violence baring teeth and claws back at you. more...

I don't know if you heard, but I kind of run this place. more...

Seducing him in the tub smelling of vinegar was out of the question. There had to be some boundaries. more...

Shapeshifter parenting motto-if your kid slit somebody's throat, always have a backup plan to make the body disappear. more...

Black hair, angelic face, and devil eyes. more...

The kid was so handsome, he almost looked unreal. more...

What is wrong with you? Many, many things. more...

I'm investigating people who sacrifice trained killers to dark gods. Perfect, it will keep him occupied. In what capacity? Bait. more...

Put your badass face on and follow me. more...

They're fanatics. It's like expecting humanity from a falling rock. It's not going to have a fit of compassion and not crack your skull open. more...

I can't hate people that much. Don't get me wrong. I want to murder every last Keeper I can find. But that's not hate. That's vengeance. more...

I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want 'there' to be. more...

My ego doesn't need soothing. I don't want him soothing anything of mine, including you. more...

I trusted her about as far as I could throw her. I was strong and she was small, but it still wasn't very far. more...

He kissed me, and I pulled my personal psycho into bed with me. more...

May I say that I am delighted that my favorite alpha is feeling better. Why, you'll be running recklessly into danger against overwhelming odds anytime now. more...

Who snitched?" "We have people monitoring police radio frequencies. They gave Jim a heads-up in case our security had to storm PAD offices and bust you out of there. I found out when I saw Jim walking down the hallway snickering to himself. more...

Aha," Andrea said. "I'm going to ignore that you just referred to yourself as 'sugar woogums'. more...

Rene, you want us to find you-don't-know-who and to retrieve his you-don't-know-what for you-won't-tell-me-whom? more...

Unfortunately, the Best Lord had condemned both vehicles as unsafe and instead I now leased a Pack Jeep I called Hector. Equipped with dual engines, Hector worked during magic or tech. He didn't go very fast, especially during magic, but so far he hadn't stalled on me either. As long as our high-speed chases stayed under forty-five miles an hour, we would be all set. more...

Andrea raised her eyebrows. "Look at you, all high-speed." "Yeah, you'd think I was a detective or something." Andrea held her hand out. "You'll jinx it. more...

I looked at him. "You really need to work on your threats. I can't tell if you're threatening me or inviting me for tea. more...

Shane lowered his glasses on his nose and gave me his version of a severe stare. I leaned a little toward Luther. "Is this the part where I faint in fear?" Luther bit his lip. "He might also accept falling to your knees and holding your hands in humble supplication. Makes it easier for him to slap the cuffs on. more...

I know it's late, but could you find a book for me? It's called The Slavs: Study of Pagan Tradition by Osvintsev." Barabas sighed dramatically. "Kate, you make me despair. Let's try that again from the top, except this time pretend you are an alpha." "I don't need a lecture. I just need the book." "Much better. Little more growl in the voice?" "Barabas!" "And we're there. Congratulations! more...

If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you. I'll be there. Wherever you want'there' to be. -Curran to Kate more...

It's not a loup cage, you know,' I told her. 'It's a holding cell. Or safe room. or secure room. I don't think Jim ever settled on a term he could live with.' 'Aha. It's a loup cage.' Andrea cleared her throat. 'I touched it with my finger and it hurt. Is that in case of marital problems? more...

We can do subtle," I assured her. "It's our middle name," Andrea added. For some odd reason Rene didn't look convinced. more...

Runes, runes, runes... Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said "Chernobog." The Black God. Right. Of course, it wouldn't be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope. more...

swore. "Barabas said you might say that. I'm supposed to tell you this." Ascanio cleared his throat and produced a remarkably accurate impression of Barabas's tenor. "Courage, Your Majesty." "I will kill him." "The Beast Lord or Barabas?" "Both. more...

You were joking about the whole please and thank you thing, right?" "Meant every word." A little light danced in his eyes and he very deliberately said, "Baby." No. He laughed. "You should see your face right now." "Don't call me that." "Would you prefer 'darling'? Or maybe 'cupcake'?" He winked. more...

She had wailed loudly enough to wake the dead and make them call the cops. more...

Peope, especially unhappy people, want a cause. They want something to belong to, to be a part of something great and bigger, and to be led. It's easy to be a cog in a machine: you don't have to think, you have no responsibility. You're just following orders, doing as you're told. more...

Humans tend to segregate the world: enemies on one side, friends on the other. Friends are the people we know. Enemies are the Other. You can do just about anything to the Other. It doesn't matter if this Other is actually guilty of any crimes, because it is a matter of emotion, not logic. You see angry people aren't interested in justice, they just want an excuse to vent their rage. more...

Great, now I've turned into a manga character who repeated everything everyone said. more...

Help me, I can't breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. more...

You sure you don't need your Prince Charming to come and save you?" The knot in my stomach evaporated. My Prince Charming huh. "Sure, do you have one handy? more...

They had picked up Julie's scent hit wolfsbane lost her and found her trail again at the crumbling Highway 23 except it was two hours old and mixed with horse scents. She was hitchhiking. Great. Awesome. At least she always carried a knife with her. When I relayed this to Curran he shrugged and said, "If she kills anybody we'll make it go away. more...

For a second I thought I might actually be alive," I said, looking at Nick's unshaven face. "Now I know- I've gone to Hell and you're my nursemaid. more...

Your master plan has holes big enough to drive a truck through. more...

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. "Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out." An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome. more...

I've seen your foot up close." Curran pointed to his chest. "I've seen it here." He moved his hand to his jaw. "Here." He touched the place over his cheek where my kick had cut him. "And here. more...

The Beast Lord way: often wrong but never in doubt. more...

Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?" Ghastek asked. "Nope, I'm just here to look pretty. more...

Did the Order return your sense of humor as part of the severance package? more...

I wondered if kicking him in the head would make the whole explanation pop out of his mouth in one chunk. more...

I did some thinking." "That is a very dangerous pastime," Ghastek said. more...

Yep." Eloquence 'R' Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic-safer that way. more...

At the core, our motives are always self-serving, Kate. Altruism is a fog created by sly minds seeking to benefit from the energy and skill of others. Nothing more. more...

If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, don't compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he'll be thrilled, because he took you there. more...

Across from me at the next row of supports Jim raised his hand and touched his fingers to his thumb a few times, imitating an opening and closing beak. Negotiate. He wanted me to engage a lunatic who had already turned four people into smoking meat. Okay. I could do that. "Alright, Jeremy!" I yelled into the night. "Give me the salamander and I won't cut your head off!" Jim put his hand over his face and did some shaking. I thought he was laughing, but I couldn't be sure. more...

I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander's mouth and kissed the sphere's glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too. more...

I was so happy to be out of there. "Barabas, if you weren't batting for the other team, I'd marry you." He grinned. "If I weren't batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal. You had me at 'No comment.' If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier. more...

We need a barn or one of those storage areas for the Broken vehicles." "A garage?" He gave her a short nod. "A private, relatively remote location, with thick walls to dampen the sound and preferably a sturdy door I could bolt from the inside, keeping your grandmother, your brothers, and all other painfully annoying spectators out..." Rose began to laugh. A make-out bunker... "I'm glad you find our dilemma hilarious, more...

I closed my eyes. "Are you okay?" "I'm tired. My knee is hurting again and I'm trying to teleport myself upstairs." "Um, Kate, you can't do that." "I know. But I'm trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading? more...

Sure, I didn't weigh a hundred and ten pounds , but my narrow waist let me bend and I could break a man's neck with my kick. more...

So we have giant super-smart vipers who slithered in here, killed our people, opened the vault, stole something from it, and slithered out, undetected?" "Appears so." "Okay. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't something dangerous. more...

One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael's eyebrows furrowed. "My mother's approval isn't necessary." Aha. "Does she know that? more...

Congratulations," he said, his voice dry. "You finally managed to find a woman as tragically noble as yourself. I didn't think one existed." "I'm not tragic." Kaldar held up his hand. "Spare me. Some children are born wearing a silk shirt; you were born wrapped in melancholy. When they slapped you to make you cry, you just sighed heavily and a single tear rolled from your eye." He dragged his finger from the corner of his left eye to his cheek. " Your first words were probably 'woe is me.'" "My first words were 'Kaldar, shut up!' because you talked too much. Still do. more...

Having a fling with you doesn't appeal to me. You're handsome, but you're too inexperienced to be good in bed. Having ridden many horses doesn't make you a good rider; it just proves that you can't recognize a good one or don't know how to keep her. more...

The idiot had shot their own dog. That's what happened when the destructive potential of a man's weapons exceeded his intelligence. more...

I closed my eyes. "Are you okay?" "I'm tired. My knee is hurting again and I'm trying to teleport myself upstairs." "Um, Kate, you can't do that." "I know. But I'm trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading? more...

So we have giant super-smart vipers who slithered in here, killed our people, opened the vault, stole something from it, and slithered out, undetected?" "Appears so." "Okay. Just wanted to make sure it wasn't something dangerous. more...

One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael's eyebrows furrowed. "My mother's approval isn't necessary." Aha. "Does she know that? more...

The idiot had shot their own dog. That's what happened when the destructive potential of a man's weapons exceeded his intelligence. more...

Every woman should be told she's attractive. Men are seduced by their eyes, women by their ears." Saiman more...

Why had I wasted all my time pretending to be someone I wasn't? I was tired, so very, very tired of standing on my own brakes. I felt...right. I felt free. more...

The door swung open and Kate walked in. Her jeans and T-shirt were splattered with blood and she was carrying a severed vampire head. The T-shirt has a smiley face on it. more...

Kate leaned back against her chair. "Where is the bane of my existence?" "In the shower, freshening up." "Oh, God, who did Asciano screw now?" "No, no, he's covered in blood." "Oh good." She sighed and stopped. "The kid is covered in blood and we're relieved. There is something wrong with us. more...

My mind struggled to formulate a coherent though, any thought. I opened my mouth. "Your pajamas have Eeyore on them." "I like Eeyore. He's sensible. A sober outlook on life never hurt anyone. more...

Everyone had a weakness. It was the law of nature that for each being there was a predator, or a disease, or a vulnerability built into their very core. more...

I came to the table, pulled up a chair, and sat. "Everyone brought a pet. I feel left out." An enthusiastic howl broke the silence, and Grendel bounded through the doorway. He galloped through the steak house, skidded on the floor, smashed into my chair, and dropped a dead rat on my lap. Awesome. more...

I've seen your foot up close." Curran pointed to his chest. "I've seen it here." He moved his hand to his jaw. "Here." He touched the place over his cheek where my kick had cut him. "And here. more...

Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?" Ghastek asked. "Nope, I'm just here to look pretty. more...

I did some thinking." "That is a very dangerous pastime," Ghastek said. more...

A pissy werelion was rather difficult to live with. more...

Somewhere in that database my name sat in its own little niche, the name of a reject, undisciplined and worthless. Just the way I liked it. more...

If you can't make it go away, wait it out. more...

Beautiful I would never be. Striking, that I could manage. more...

I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea's neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend's windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas. more...

As I walked back to civilization, I realized that for the first time in the six months I had known Curran, we had managed to have a conversation and part ways without wanting to kill each other. I found that fact deeply troubling. more...

Some people had attack dogs. Ghastek had attack lawyers. more...

I will kill him." "Erra's eyebrows rose. "You'd have to go through me first." I shrugged. "I have to do something for a warm-up." She laughed softly. "That's the spirit. I do think you might be my favorite niece. more...

You replaced me with a shaved poodle?" "He's got mad skills." Derek's eyebrows crept up. "He can vomit and urinate at the same time and he doesn't make fun of my car. more...

Curran scrutinized Mart's face. "I can't figure out if he wants to kill you or screw you." "I'll be glad to make the choice for him." Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did. more...

So how was it?" she asked. "Kissing Curran?" "I can't let him kiss me again, because if he does, I'll sleep with him." Andrea blinked. "Well," she said finally, "At least you know where you stand. more...

I took the jacket off, changed my T-shirt for a dark gray tank top, slipped on the tangle of the back sheath, and put the jacket on again. Thugs are us. Great. Just add a super-tight ponytail and loads of mascara, and I'd be ripe to play a supervillain's evil mistress. Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample. more...

Nothing kills a party like an oversize metal hedgehog. more...

Vampires smiled for many reasons, but when a vampire male smiled at you from this distance with that kind of look in his eyes it was done for one purpose only: to impress. Look at my big teeth. I'm an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome. more...

Julie was an issue riding on an issue and using a third issue for a whip. more...

We have to get the Diamond. And Cesare's head." They looked at me. "Why the head?" Doolittle asked. "Because it's easy to carry and I can torture it for a long time." And I didn't just say it out loud, did I? I checked their faces. Yep, I did. more...

What's the deal with the hair?" Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. "Grows every flare. Can't help it." We stared at each other. "Waiting for the Fabio joke," he said. more...

Andrea stared at me. "You're not taking me seriously!" "That's probably because you're not excited enough," Derek said. "You should clench your fists like they do in the movies, shake them, and yell, 'This is bigger than any of us! It goes all the way to the top! more...

Good morning, Ms. Daniels. I'm calling to inform you that Julie has left our premises." Not again. Curran's arms closed around me and he hugged me to him. I leaned back against him. "How?" "She mailed herself. more...

The good doctor put a spoon of tea into my honey." "You're drinking tea a honey badger made," Jim said. "What did you expect? more...

Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?" "I have spies everywhere." I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. "She had tea with Mahon's wife." Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. "You and I need to work on your air of mystery. more...

Isn't that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would've thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate." Barabas grinned. "I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus," Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige. more...

Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker's dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds weren't in our favor. "Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar," I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. "That's a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake. more...

Aha! So I'm not crazy." "You are most definitely crazy," Derek said. "But in a deranged, endearing way. more...

Barabas placed a stack on the table and held the chair out for me. "For you." "I'm hungry and I don't have time for this." Barabas's eyes held no mercy. "Make time, Alpha. You have two hands. You can eat and sign simultaneously." Curran grinned. "Enjoying my suffering?" I asked. "I find it hilarious that you'll run into a gunfight with nothing but your sword, but paperwork makes you panic." Barabas put a thicker stack in front of him. "This is yours, m'lord." Curran swore. more...

I tried to picture a female version of Jim and got Jim in a dress instead. The image was disturbing. more...

I'd signed six things and my stack wasn't getting any smaller. It was like the paperwork was breeding while I worked. more...

Would you care for something to drink?" "Is it poisoned?" "It's Saturday," I said. "We only serve poison during the week. more...

Five minutes later, we were rolling around on the helipad as he tried to muscle his way out of my armlock, after slamming me onto the helipad. "I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction," Saiman said, his voice dry. I looked up. He was standing a few feet away. "Do enlighten us." Curran tried to roll into me to break the lock. Oh no you don't. "You both think violence is foreplay. more...

Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. "I'm just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?" "Sure." Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this wasn't the best idea. more...

Barabas pulled Christopher out of the cage. The man stared up at him. "I died, didn't I? Are you an angel?" "Sure," Barabas said. "Follow me to the Heavenly Shower more...

He squeezed his hands into fists. I picked up a grapefruit-sized rock and handed it to him. It went flying. Home run, Beast Lord style. more...

One day, she'd find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it. more...

I was a knight," Andrea said. "I'm not just going to start shooting every dickhead who mouths off to me." "Just making sure." "Besides, if I shot him, I'd do it so nobody could trace it back to me. I'd shoot him somewhere remote, his head would explode like a melon, and they would never find his body. He would just vanish. more...

Are you hungry, baby?" Curran asked. "Starving." "I think we should go to dinner." "Great idea." "What are you going to wear?" "My badass face." "Good choice," he said. more...

I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction," Saiman said, his voice dry. "You both think violence is foreplay. more...

I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus." Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige. more...

In the whole world, there was no better place than being wrapped in him. more...

Anger - a better alternative to caffeine. more...

... That would be like stepping in front of a moving train and saying, 'Hey, honey, come stand next to me.'" I hopped off the wall and stood next to him. "Anytime." He just looked at me. "I've never killed a train before. It might be fun to try. more...

Is there a cookie at the end of this lecture? ... I got a cookie after all ... Dear god, the cookie was poisoned. more...

So this is what it's about? This is your mature response to go off into the mountains rather than talking about it and have s'mores with a gnome and a mountain man." "Yep" "What's your plan for tomorrow? Brunch with a unicorn? more...

I love you, and you're the measure of my wrath. Declan. more...

Go to the Black Sea, meet new people, see beautiful places, get killed by a mutant carnivorous kangaroo goat. One item off my bucket list. more...

Were you watching me sleep? Because I thought we agreed that's creepy. more...

What's so funny?" "Your panties have a bow," he said. I looked down. I was wearing a short tank top -not mine- and my blue panties with a narrow white strip of lace at the top and a tiny white bow. Would it have killed me to check what I was wearing before I pulled the blanket down? "What's wrong with bows?" "Nothing." He was grinning now. "I expected barbed wire. Or one of those steel chains." Wiseass. "I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft." "I bet. more...

There are only two things that can screw this up for us: you and me." "Then we're doomed for sure. more...

Butterflies were small and light, and very magic sensitive. For some reason I made them feel safe and they gravitated to me like iron shavings to a magnet. They ruined my ferocious badass image, but you'd have to be a complete beast to swat butterflies. more...

Why is everyone calling me Consort?" "Jim designated you as Consort in official papers. You don't want to be called Mate, calling you Alpha is confusing, and 'Beast Lady' makes people laugh. more...

So. You refuse my money, you serve me thirty-year-old Highland Park scotch, and we've been in the same room for approximately five minutes, yet none of my bones are broken. This leads me to believe that your back is against the wall and you desperately need me for something. I'm dying to know what that is. more...

I should've been furious, but for some reason I wasn't. Maybe because I knew he was telling the truth. Maybe because Voron left me just like that, without the much-needed explanations. Maybe because things I had learned about him since his death had made me doubt everything he'd ever said to me. Whatever the case, I felt only a hollow, crushing sadness. How touching. I understood my adoptive father's killer. Maybe after this was over, Hugh's head and I could sing "Kumbaya" together by the fire. more...

No matter what happens, you will always be Pack. Because you have that loyalty and restraint. Not human, not whatever, but Kate. Unique and different, but not separate. more...

A massive beast dashed along the mountain apex. Astamur reached for his rifle. "A demon?" "No, not a demon." I might have preferred one . "That's my boyfriend." Atsany and the shepherd turned to look at me. "Boyfriend?" Astamur said. Curran saw us. He paused on a stone crag and roared. The raw declaration of strength cracked through the mountains, rolling down the cliffs like a rockslide. "Yep. Don't worry. He's harmless. more...

I have spent my spare time studying literature popular with young women of this planet. One should always study the battlefield." Sean glanced at him. "And?" "I suggest you give up now. According to my research, in a vampire-werewolf love triangle, the vampire always gets the girl. more...

Where is Arland?" "Rapunzel decided to walk around in the woods to get 'the feel of the battleground.' He won't leave the grounds and he promises to defend the inn with 'all the strength in his body.' I told him if he gets in trouble, he should try singing prettily so his woodland friends will come to the rescue. I don't think he got it. more...

...Something isn't right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I don't know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean." "Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace. more...

No, you're not going with him." I crossed my arms. "Who decided that?" He put on his "I'm alpha and I'm putting my foot down" expression. "I decided. more...

Every time I think you"ve reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe-ever expanding. more...

I said, I know why you're afraid to fight with me." "And why is that?" If he flexed again, I"d have to implement emergency measures. Maybe I could kick some sand at him or something. Hard to look hot brushing sand out of your eyes. "You want me." Oh boy. "You ca' resist my subtle charm, so you're afraid you're going to make a spectacle out of yourself." "You know what? Do' talk to me. more...

As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer. Curran looked at the fan. "What?" "An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints." Curran just stared at him. Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me. "Give me that," I told Curran. "I need to fan myself." "No, you do'. more...

He said "woman" in the same way I"d say "Mmmmm, yummy chocolate" after waking up from hunger pains and finding a Hershey bar in an empty refrigerator. more...

You sure you do' want me to stay? I"ll make you coffee and ask you about your day. more...

I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I did' want to be late. more...

He finished the bandage and was examining it critically. "You know those things are unreliable." His voice held just a touch of reproach. "Eleven out of twelve work fine. I"d say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try. more...

Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You do' have to do it, but it's here if you choose to come back to it. more...

Andrea: "....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle." Kate: "He is' a poodle. He's a Doberman mix." Andrea: "Aha. Keep telling yourself that. more...

I know a man who is in love with my friend. He loves her absolutely. The only thing he wants in return is for her to love him." Saiman arched his eyebrows, imitating me. "And?" "You're the exact opposite of him. You lack the capacity to love, so you want to smother mine as well. more...

Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I did' expect that. "That's it? That's your witty comeback?" "Yep." Eloquence "R" Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic-safer that way. more...

The rabbis paled. I"d managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore. more...

Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?" His eyes flashed. "Got any to spare?" I could"ve picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right. more...

You slept with Curran and you did' tell me? I'm your best friend." "It did' come up." "How disappointing for you." Ha-ha. "That's not what I meant. more...

She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. "They"re anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, do' chew." "Well, I thought I"d stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I"ll swallow them. more...

He put the book down. "As you wish." He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass, but suddenly he stepped in dangerously close. "Welcome home. I'm glad you made it. There is coffee in the kitchen for you." My mouth gaped open. He inhaled my scent, bent close, about to kiss me... I just stood there like an idiot. Curran smirked and whispered in my ear instead. "Psych." And just like that, he was out the door and gone. Oh boy. more...

He was going to take a dive into this lake. He just did' know it. Cerise rose, finding footing in the soft mud. The water came up to just below her breasts and her wet shirt stuck to her body. William's gaze snagged on her chest. Yep, keep looking, Lord Bill. Keeeeeep looking. more...

Cerise ran through the course in her mind. "Three miles, stream on the right, Mozer Lake, Tinybear, Bigbear, Miller's Path." She paused, not sure if she"d said it correctly. "Three miles, stream on the right, Mozer Lake, Tinybear, Bigbear, Miller's Path." "Thank you, Dora. Put the sword back into Backpack and we"ll go." He nodded at the river. "Who is Dora?" "You are. Dora the Explorer. Vamanos. Put the sword away or I will take it from you. more...

William strode to her. That's how it's done. Drink it in. She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?" He showed her his teeth. "Yes. Now they wo' take you anywhere." Cerise stepped closer to him, so close he only needed to lean in and dip his head and he would kiss her. Since he saved her, maybe he could just grab her and- "That was the stupidest thing you have done since I"ve met you," she ground out through her teeth. Belay the grabbing. more...

Do you know what separates adults from children? Self-discipline. We do' want to go to work, we do' want to do our chores, and we do' want to make unpleasant decisions, but we do all those things because we"re aware of the consequences which will follow if we do'. more...

I do shodo magic," Dali said. "I curse through calligraphy. I have to write the curse out on a piece of paper and I ca' move while I do it. One smudge, and I might kill the lot of us." Oh good. "But do' worry." Dali waved her arms. "It's so precise, it usually does' work at all." Better and better. more...

I"d missed him so much, it almost hurt. It started the moment I left the Keep and nagged at me all day. Every day I had to fight with myself to keep from making up bullshit reasons to call the Keep so I could hear his voice. My only saving grace was that Curran was' handling this whole mating thing any better. Yesterday he"d called me at the office claiming that he could' find his socks. We talked for two hours. more...

Too much excitement, Your Majesty?" I asked. "He was standing too close." "He was asking about Andrea." "Too close. I did' like it." Curran wrapped his arm around my shoulders and started walking, steering me away from the group. His Possessive Majesty in all of his glory. more...

The hallway led me to the stairway of a million steps. My leg screamed in protest. I sighed and started climbing. I just had to keep from limping. Limping showed weakness, and I did' need any enterprising, career-motivated shapeshifters trying to challenge me for dominance right about now. I had once mentioned my desire for an elevator, and His Majesty asked me if I would like a flock of doves to carry me up to my quarters so my feet would' have to touch the ground. We were sparring at the time and I kicked him in the kidney in retaliation. more...

Andrea raised her hand. "This is the hand that slapped Aunt B." "Maybe you should have it gold-plated." "Here, you can touch it, since you're my best friend. more...

If I fought for them and was crippled, they would all say nice things,and then they would replace me and forget I was ever there. You would stay with me. You would take care of me, because you love me. I love you too, Kate. If you ever became hurt, I would not leave you. I"ll be there. Wherever you want"there" to be. -Curran to Kate more...

Runes, runes, runes... Runes. An inverted Algiz rune. The caption next to it said "Chernobog." The Black God. Right. Of course, it would' be Chernobog, God of Morning Dew on the Rose Petals, but a woman could always hope. more...

swore. "Barabas said you might say that. I'm supposed to tell you this." Ascanio cleared his throat and produced a remarkably accurate impression of Barabas's tenor. "Courage, Your Majesty." "I will kill him." "The Beast Lord or Barabas?" "Both. more...

Great, now I"ve turned into a manga character who repeated everything everyone said. more...

Help me, I ca' breathe, your ego is pushing all the air out of the room. more...

I"ve seen your foot up close." Curran pointed to his chest. "I"ve seen it here." He moved his hand to his jaw. "Here." He touched the place over his cheek where my kick had cut him. "And here. more...

Does Curran not involve you in his strategic sessions?" Ghastek asked. "Nope, I'm just here to look pretty. more...

Yep." Eloquence "R" Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic-safer that way. more...

If a man takes you to a restaurant of his choosing, do' compliment him. Rave about the quality of the food and he"ll be thrilled, because he took you there. more...

Across from me at the next row of supports Jim raised his hand and touched his fingers to his thumb a few times, imitating an opening and closing beak. Negotiate. He wanted me to engage a lunatic who had already turned four people into smoking meat. Okay. I could do that. "Alright, Jeremy!" I yelled into the night. "Give me the salamander and I wo' cut your head off!" Jim put his hand over his face and did some shaking. I thought he was laughing, but I could' be sure. more...

I dived for it, caught it three inches above the cement, and found myself face-to-face with the salamander. Ruby-red eyes regarded me with mild curiosity, black lips parted, and a long, spiderweb-thin filament of a tongue slithered from the salamander's mouth and kissed the sphere's glass in the reflection of my nose. Hi, I love you, too. more...

I"d give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous. more...

Still think she is worth it?" Mahon asked quietly. "Of course. She is my mate." Mahon sighed. "So you decided then." "Do you think we"d be laying here bleeding in the snow if I was' sure?" "Good point. more...

Rene looked at Grendel. "What in the world is that?" "That's our mutant attack poodle," I told her. "Is he chewing on a gun? more...

You fellows ever thought of hiring out as a Christmas lights crew? You"d make a fortune. more...

I prefer the term "sexual deviant" myself," Saiman said. more...

Would you like to assist me with my choice of underwear as well?" My sarcasm whistled right over his head. "I would be delighted. While I"d love to see you in a balconette bra, I'm afraid for this particular occasion I would have to go with a foam-lined seamless due to the tight fit of the garment across your breasts . . . Perhaps I could come over and review what you have available . . . more...

Maybe if I prayed to Miss Marple, she"d hook me up with a clue more...

You sure you do' want to kiss me good-bye, baby? more...

He strained to say something else. I leaned toward him. He focused on me. "Rape," he promised. "Many, many times. Until you bleed . . ." "I'm so flattered. more...

And did you have to hack his arms off?" "Yes, I did. He would' go through the door." "You say it like you're proud of it." I was proud of it. It was an example of quick thinking in a difficult situation. more...

She eats grass. Do' ask. more...

Why the rifle? Everybody knows you ca' shoot." Who were these everybodies and would they like to stand in front of me, preferably within ten feet, so I could discuss this issue in greater detail. more...

Settle down, Princess. It's not my first time. more...

Let's talk." I pinned Red to his chair with my stare. I did deranged quite well, when the occasion required. more...

Kid 1: *examining my gorgeous strawberry and blueberry pies*: Wow, Mom, your pies do' look awful this time. Me (Ilona): ... ~A little later~ Kid 2: *wandering into the kitchen* Kid 1: Hey, you"ve got to see these pies. *opening the stove* Kid 2: Wow. They are not ugly this time. Kid 1: I know, right? more...

Jack did' fully get Jesus. Audrey tried to explain it, and he could repeat it back to her, word for word, but he still did' comprehend most of it. The best he could gather was that Jesus lived long ago, told people to be nice, and they killed him for it. At the end, he asked who was Jesus" necromancer and if he was in the Bible, then Kaldar could' stop laughing and had to sit down. more...

Because you are the one. You are better than me in some things, and I am better than you in others...I do' mind being a bit like you. I hope you do' mind being a bit like me. more...

I reached over and squeezed Curran's hand. "Come on, you, me, a platter of barely seared meat, it will be great. If we see the navigators, we can make fun of the way they hold their forks. more...

When a lion stalks a herd, he sneaks in close, lies down, and surveys them to choose his victim. He takes his time. The deer or buffalo have no idea he's near. He finds his prey and then he explodes from his hiding place and grabs it. Even if another, perfectly serviceable animal ends up within his reach, he is' going to alter his course. He has chosen, and he would rather go hungry than change his mind. more...

We were not finished yet, not even close. I could still smell her. I remembered what she felt like. What she tasted like. This was' a casual sexual thing. This was a mating. I would have Kate as my mate. Whatever it took, no matter how long, she would be with me. more...

He is' so much flirting," Cerise murmured. "Either he does' like me or he does' know how." "Of course he likes you. You're lovely. He probably just does' get it. Some men have to be hit over the head with it. Her aunt rolled her eyes. "I thought I"d have to draw your uncle Jean a giant sign. That or kidnap him and have my evil way with him, until he got the message. more...

You're like a god from a Greek myth, Saiman. You have no empathy. You have no concept of the world beyond your ego. Wanting something gives you an automatic right to obtain it by whatever means necessary with no regard to the damage it may do. I would be careful if I were you. Friends and objects of deities" desires dropped like flies. In the end the gods always ended up miserable and alone." - Kate Daniels more...

What did you write on here? "Do' die"?" "No, I wrote, "Do' be an asshole!""I headed for the house. "On yours or mine?" "On yours." "Well, in that case, your magic is' working. I'm still an asshole. more...

He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim"s. "None of that in my house!" Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. more...

I will devour you. I will lick your bones clean and crush them between my teeth. I will suck the marrow..." "That's nice," Kate said. "The shield. more...

Since we"re playing that game... I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze. "Do you have to sneeze?" he asked. "Be quiet. I'm pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said." "Try not to strain anything." "Oh, I wo'. I'm very good at faking it." That shut him up. more...

Curran and Kate stood by the door. "I ca' believe you decided to come down here and check on me," she said. "The guy once handed you a fan and told you to fan yourself if the sight of his naked torso was too much." "That was like a year ago. Will you let it go already?" "No." Curran grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her. "Never." She kissed him back and smiled. Awww. Kate and the Beast Lord sitting in a tree... more...

You're touching me," I chided him. He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting every sensitive point I had' even known I had. "No, this is touching you. That was just accidental contact." "Oh? Good to know. If you touch me again and I break your arm off, you can be sure it will be completely accidental. more...

You're the most experienced investigator I"ve got who's not tied up in something, and I ca' ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up. more...

Are you implying that our relationship is like a Spanish soap opera?" "I'm not implying. I'm saying it. more...

Bad days, good days, "I"ll cut you if you look at me the wrong way" days. I"ll take them all. more...

Look, he is' even concerned." I poured the tea. "He's concerned, Mother. He just does' panic, because he's in charge and if he panics, everybody else will panic." "I can jog around the room pretending to scream if you would like," Jim offered. more...

It's never a good thing when the black volhv says "Uh-oh" and then runs for his life. more...

We took a right at the fork, heading farther north. The charred houses continued. To the right, a large sign nailed to an old telephone post shouted DANGER in huge red letters. Underneath in crisp black letters was written: IM-1: Infectious Magic Area Do Not Enter Authorized Personnel Only A second smaller sign under the first one, written on a piece of plastic with permanent marker, read: Keep out, stupid. "We are' going to keep out, are we?" Ascanio asked. "No." "Awesome. more...

Is he a scumbag in training?" Richard glanced at the gunman. "At least have the decency to hold the gun properly, you fool. If you do' know how, pass it to someone who does. I'm not going to suffer being shot at by anything less than a full- fledged lowlife. (Richard) more...

True strength is' in killing-or ignoring-your opponent, it's in having the will to shield those who need your protection. more...

You could buy a car for fifty thousand dollars. A really nice car." Ascanio's eyes lit up. "A Hummer. You could buy a converted Hummer." "You do' need a Hummer." I said. "Chicks dig the Hummer." "You don`t need any chicks either." He gave me an injured look. "I have needs." "I have needs too and right now I need you to concentrate on tracking down Jamar`s collection. Get to it." - Andrea & Ascanio more...

How did the hearing go?" she asked. "We won, sort of," Kaldar said. "We die at dawn." "The court gave the Sheeriles twenty-four hours," William corrected. "Yes, but "we die at dawn the day after tomorrow" does' sound nearly as dramatic." "Does it have to be dramatic all the time?" Catherine murmured. "Of course. Everyone has a talent. Yours is crocheting and mine is making melodramatic statements. more...

Why could nothing with Kate be simple? Why could' Jim ever just come by to tell me that he had bowled a perfect game or benched a personal best. Maybe finally asked that weird tiger girl out. more...

I was so happy to be out of there. "Barabas, if you were' batting for the other team, I"d marry you." He grinned. "If I were' batting for the other team, I would accept your proposal. You had me at "No comment." If all my clients were this smart, my life would be much easier. Much, much easier. more...

I closed my eyes. "Are you okay?" "I'm tired. My knee is hurting again and I'm trying to teleport myself upstairs." "Um, Kate, you ca' do that." "I know. But I'm trying very hard. Let me know if I start fading? more...

So we have giant super-smart vipers who slithered in here, killed our people, opened the vault, stole something from it, and slithered out, undetected?" "Appears so." "Okay. Just wanted to make sure it was' something dangerous. more...

One look at Rebecca and Aunt B would have an instant apoplexy. Raphael's eyebrows furrowed. "My mother's approval is' necessary." Aha. "Does she know that? more...

Not only will you sleep with me, but you will say 'please.'" I stared at him, shocked. The smile widened. "You will say 'please' before and 'thank you' after." Nervous laughter bubbled up. "You've gone insane. All that peroxide in your hair finally did your brain in, Goldilocks. more...

Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did. more...

The vampire stared at me, his mouth slack as Ghastek assessed his options. I took a couple of forms from my desk, put them into the vamp's mouth, and pulled them up by their edges. "What are you doing?" Ghastek asked. "My hole puncher broke." "You have no respect for the undead. more...

On a scale from one to ten, the Pack was eleven and everything else a one. more...

The Order of Merciful Aid provided merciful aid, usually on the edge of a blade or the burn of a bullet. more...

On the plus side, if he ever had to fight through a roomful of adolescent girls, he only needed to blink (his velvet brown eyes framed in embarassingly long lashes) a few times, and they would all faint. more...

What would I do without the moral compass of a teenage werewolf. more...

We were screwed and he didn't even kiss us first. more...

If my luck held, it wouldn't be a handsome Greek demigod looking for the love of his life or at least his love of a couple of hours. more...

Now was not a good time, but we didn't often get to chose the time to repay our debts. more...

Just to make sure the odd humanoid aberration doesn't get away, always pin it through the nuts. more...

He said 'woman' in the same way I'd say 'Mmmm, yummy chocolate. more...

The kind of eyes that jumped from a woman's dreams right into her morning and made trouble in the marriage bed. more...

Shave that jaw, brush that hair, tone down the crazy in the eyes, and he would have to fight women off with that crossbow. more...

Now climb, young grasshopper, so your Kung Fu won't be weak. more...

You're not going to die?" "Not right this minute." And of course, saying something like that usually resulted in immediate dying. I braced myself for a stray meteorite falling through the roof to crush my skull. more...

Wanna spot me?" "No thanks. How about I just scream verbal encouragements at you? more...

The sight of me puffing and straining apparently amused him to no end. more...

If he full-out flexed, I would probably faint, or jump off the building. more...

I did deranged quite well, when the occasion called for it. more...

And just when I thought the pain had dulled, my mind would betray me and bring Dad back to life in my dreams. Sometimes I didn't realize that he was dead until I awoke and then it was like a punch in the stomach. And sometimes I knew in my dream that I was dreaming, and I woke up crying. more...

First rule of bodyguard detail: know where your 'body' is at all times. more...

He gave an impression of coiled power, a contained violence that if released, would explode with terrifying intensity. more...

I think I've been rather reasonable about this whole situation." "How do you figure?" "They are still breathing, aren't they? more...

I'm a substitute mom." "You're more like a crazy aunt who only gets called when somebody needs bailing out of jail. more...

If I lose control, you'll be the first to know." "I'm quite perturbed by the idea. more...

I had the metabolism of a hummingbird on crack. more...

A ghastly attempt at a smile, sure to send any normal person to a therapist. more...

Perhaps I just wasn't scary enough. Maybe I should invest in some horns or fangs. more...

Half-man, half-beast, all nightmare. The shapeshifter warrior form. more...

You don't cause problems. You cause catastrophes. more...

I don't want it to be attributed to a loss of control on my part. When I throw you out of the window, I want there to be no doubt the act was deliberate. more...

Big bad merc, down with a basic hip toss. In your place I'd be blushing. more...

Two years? That's entirely too long. If you want, we can take care of that. After two years it's pure therapy. more...

I want to punish them. I want that punishment to be so hard, so vicious that the next who takes their place wets himself at the mere thought of trying to fight me. more...

Your ability to remain alive never ceases to amaze me. more...

It's not your job to die for your Pack! It's your job to make the other bastards die for theirs. more...

I dropped all the guards. All the leashes, all the chains, everything that ever restrained me through the discipline and fear of discovery, I let it all go. No need to hide. more...

I raged across the field, killing all before me. They ran when they saw me coming, and I chased them down, and killed them before they could take someone else's friend away from them. more...

In death, they all looked the same. This morning they spoke, they breathed, they kissed their loved ones good-bye. And now they lay dead. Gone forever. more...

I could have fixed almost everything else, but death defeated me every time. more...

I make a bad mom, but I can pull off a crazy aunt. more...

You're an interesting woman." "Your interest has been duly noted. more...

Our stares connected and we were quiet for a long minute, united by our misery. At least he understood me and I understood him. "A fine pair we make," he said. "Yeah. more...

No, you're not going with him." I crossed my arms. "Who decided that?" He put on his "I'm alpha and I'm putting my foot down" expression. "I decided. more...

Oh my God, she was retarded and I was going to kill Jim. more...

Georgie, stop trying to resurrect the shoes. They were never alive in the first place. more...

It's a reflex. Hear a bell, get food. See an undead, throw a knife. Same thing, really. more...

I gave him my best cryptic smile. He did not fall down to his feet, kiss my shoes, and promise me the world. I must be getting rusty. more...

I've never created a riot before. I did cause a brawl at the last formal. A large number of young women there actually arrived with the expectation of seducing me into matrimony, and a couple of their mothers came to blows. It was hilari-I mean, dreadful. Simply dreadful. more...

It's awful to be rich and mind-boggingly handsome and have women fawn over you. My heart bleeds for you. Poor dear, how do you manage? more...

Yes, I'm too mad to punish you right now. We'll talk about it when we get home. Go brush your teeth, comb your hair, put on dry clothes, and get the guns. We're going to Wal-Mart. more...

Here, Kitty, Kitty, Kitty... more...

It took a qualified wizard to detect a summoning in progress. It required only a half-literate idiot with a twitch of power and a dim idea of how to use it to attempt one. Before you knew it, a three-headed Slavonic god was wreaking havoc in downtown Atlanta, the skies were raining winged snakes, and SWAT was screaming for more ammo. more...

Men and swords. My father said that if you put any able-bodied man, no matter how peaceful, into a room with a sword and a practice dummy and leave him alone, eventually the man would pick up the sword and try to stab the dummy. It is human nature. more...

Every time I think you've reached the limits of arrogance, you show me new heights. Truly, your egotism is like the Universe-ever expanding. more...

I said, I know why you're afraid to fight with me." "And why is that?" If he flexed again, I'd have to implement emergency measures. Maybe I could kick some sand at him or something. Hard to look hot brushing sand out of your eyes. "You want me." Oh boy. "You can't resist my subtle charm, so you're afraid you're going to make a spectacle out of yourself." "You know what? Don't talk to me. more...

As he passed me, he leaned to Curran and handed him a paper fan folded from some sort of flyer. Curran looked at the fan. "What?" "An emergency precaution, Your Majesty. In case the lady faints." Curran just stared at him. Raphael strode toward the Pit, turned, flexed a bit, and winked at me. "Give me that," I told Curran. "I need to fan myself." "No, you don't. more...

He said "woman" in the same way I'd say "Mmmmm, yummy chocolate" after waking up from hunger pains and finding a Hershey bar in an empty refrigerator. more...

Her imagination painted Georgie twenty years later, sitting in leg irons before some Broken psychiatrist. "Well, you see, it all started with bubbles... more...

The woman frowned. "I probably should have mentioned that annoying habit of letting people come to the wrong conclusions and not correcting them? He got it from me. more...

You sure you don't want me to stay? I'll make you coffee and ask you about your day. more...

...you expect me to fall on my back with my legs spread." "Not necessarily. ... You can fall on your hands and knees if you prefer. Or against the wall. Or on the kitchen counter. I suppose I might let you be on top, if you make it worth my while. more...

Keeping you safe keeps me in shape. more...

Kate's Speciality: Killing things, with much bloodshed. Talking trash, infuriating authority. Driving Beast Lord crazy. more...

It was the kind of sword that would make a lifelong pacifist look for tall boots and a hat with feathers. more...

I had an appointment with a sexual deviant and I didn't want to be late. more...

Ready to put your claws where your mouth is, or are you going to cringe behind the big boys and yip all day?" His eyes flared yellow "Is that a challenge?" "Yes it is. more...

Because he has the best equipment in the City and he knows how to use it! more...

He finished the bandage and was examining it critically. "You know those things are unreliable." His voice held just a touch of reproach. "Eleven out of twelve work fine. I'd say that's better chances than getting an orgasm with a blind date and women still try. more...

Where is Barbie?" The female shifter snickered and choked it off. "Is there a stripper pole? more...

If you come, you better come in force because I will kill every single one of you. My hand won't shake, my aim won't falter. My face will be the last thing you'll see before you die." I jammed my knife into the table and walked out. more...

Magic could not be measured and explained in scientific terms, for magic grew through destroying the very natural principles that made science as people knew it impossible. more...

Sh!t. F_ck sh!t.'.... 'Sh!t f_ck would have also been accepted. more...

Curran is the Beast Lord. Tremble. more...

Just so you know: if a rakshasa shows up, I left my sword in the car. more...

The human body is an amazing organism. It can go from dead tired to completely alert in a terrified blink. more...

He bared his teeth in a happy feral grin. My own personal psycho. more...

Is that a lion with horns and a pitchfork?" "Yep." "Is he carrying the moon on his pitchfork?" "Nope it's a pie. more...

you might want to decide fast. We live in a dangerous world. If you see a chance to be happy, you have to fight for it, so later you have no regrets. more...

Everybody has something, that one thing they must do to feel happy. I think this is yours, and I want you to be happy. You don't have to do it, but it's here if you choose to come back to it. more...

I can't give you the white picket fence, and if I did, you'd set it on fire. more...

Andrea: "....I think a dog is a great idea. I just never pictured you with a mutant poodle." Kate: "He isn't a poodle. He's a Doberman mix." Andrea: "Aha. Keep telling yourself that. more...

I know a man who is in love with my friend. He loves her absolutely. The only thing he wants in return is for her to love him." Saiman arched his eyebrows, imitating me. "And?" "You're the exact opposite of him. You lack the capacity to love, so you want to smother mine as well. more...

I'm welding the bimbo room shut. more...

Roland had sworn off children-they kept trying to kill him. more...

Syphilis. Lots and lots of magically delicious Syphilis. more...

You should name him Fezzik." "Inconceivable. more...

Lyc-V is a jealous virus. It exterminates all other invaders with extreme prejudice. more...

Was his body made out of orange rocks and did he at any point yell 'It's clobbering time'?" "I find your attempt at levity inappropriate." "Consider me properly chastised. more...

Your headlights don't scare me. more...

How was I supposed to know that you let two little bears hurt you, Goldilocks?" "Ah, yes, that mouth. I missed it. All mine now. more...

You look like Curran. You have that pissy exasperated look on your face. more...

Very well." He sat cross-legged on the floor of the cage. "You haven't run off so you want to talk. I will hear your explanation now." "Really, Your Majesty? So good of you to condescend. I'll try to use small words and go slow." "You're wasting my time. I know Jim betrayed me and you're covering for him. This is your chance to dazzle me wih your brillance or baffle me with your bullshit. You won't get another. When I get out, I won't be in the mood to listen. more...

Are you out of your mind?" It's not polite to lie to your best friend. "It's a possibility. more...

Please, Kate. Suspend your dislike of me for a few moments and listen to what I have to say. It makes sense." "I don't dislike you. It's an oversimplification. more...

And then what?" "I'll burn that bridge when I cross it. more...

I turned to leave and paused before the gap in the ruined wall. "One last thing, Your Majesty. I'd like a name I can put into my report, something shorter than typing out 'The Leader of the Southern Shapechanger Faction.' What should I call you?" "Lord." I rolled my eyes. He shrugged. "It's short. more...

I chuckled to myself and kept walking. The Universe had proven Curran wrong: a person who aggravated him more than me did, in fact, exist. more...

No, he just needs a moment," Curran said. "Young bouda males. Easily excitable. more...

And men my prophet wail deride! more...

You know what I like about you? You have no sense. You sit here in my house, you can barely hold a spoon, and you're telling me 'no'. You'd pull on Death's whiskers if you could reach them. more...

I'm secure enough in myself to wear panties with bows on them. Besides, they are comfy and soft." "I bet." He almost purred. I gulped. more...

Derek, you just don't say things like that to a woman. Keep going this way and you'll spend your life alone." "Don't change the subject. Andrea is cool. And she smells nice. It will be okay." Apparently I was supposed to sniff people to determine their competence. "How do you know?" He shrugged. "You just have to trust her. more...

Technically, the dance worked best when done naked, but I didn't feel like prancing in the nude into Morrigan Hound's arms. I'm sure he'd be thrilled to see me. more...

Morfran thrust his axe straight up. He pretty much seemed to have one sign for everything: poke a hole in the sky. more...

Curran grinned and my heart made a little jump. I didn't expect that. "That's it? That's your witty comeback?" "Yep." Eloquence 'R' Us. When in trouble, keep it monosyllabic-safer that way. more...

The rabbis paled. I'd managed to terrify holy men. Maybe I could beat up a nun for an encore. more...

Would you like to borrow a pair of my panties to wave around at the next Council meeting to get the point across?" His eyes flashed. "Got any to spare?" I could've picked somebody rational. But no, I had to fall in love with this arrogant idiot. Come to the Keep with me, be my princess. Mourn me when your crazy dad kills me. Yeah, right. more...

I looked at the canine companion. "Me cookies. You stay. more...

The phone rang. I picked it up. "Kate Daniels" "It's me," Curran said. "I-" I hung up. more...

You slept with Curran and you didn't tell me? I'm your best friend." "It didn't come up." "How disappointing for you." Ha-ha. "That's not what I meant. more...

Give me a few minutes." "You have time." He sat in the grass. "Are you just going to sit there and watch me?" "Yes. Watching pretty peasant girls is what we poor little rich boys do best." "Peasant?" He shrugged. "You started the name calling. more...

She handed him a glass of water and two Aleve gelcaps. "They're anti-inflammatories. They will dull the pain a little bit and keep down swelling and redness. Swallow the pills, don't chew." "Well, I thought I'd stick them into my nose and impersonate a walrus, but if you insist, I'll swallow them. more...

He put the book down. "As you wish." He rose and walked past me. I lowered my sword, expecting him to pass, but suddenly he stepped in dangerously close. "Welcome home. I'm glad you made it. There is coffee in the kitchen for you." My mouth gaped open. He inhaled my scent, bent close, about to kiss me... I just stood there like an idiot. Curran smirked and whispered in my ear instead. "Psych." And just like that, he was out the door and gone. Oh boy. more...

The intruder hesitated, turned, and anchored itself in the corner, where the ceiling met the wall. It sat there, fastened to the paneling by enormous yellow talons, still and silent like a gargoyle in full sunlight. I took a swig from the bottle and set it so I could still see the creatures reflection. Nude and hairless, it didn't carry a single ounce of fat on its lean frame. Its skin stretched so tight over the cords of muscle, it threatened to snap. Like a thin layer of wax melted over an anatomy model. Your friendly neighbourhood Spiderman. more...

What's that?" "That's my attack poodle. more...

What kind of woman greets the Beast Lord with 'here, kitty, kitty'? more...

He was going to take a dive into this lake. He just didn't know it. Cerise rose, finding footing in the soft mud. The water came up to just below her breasts and her wet shirt stuck to her body. William's gaze snagged on her chest. Yep, keep looking, Lord Bill. Keeeeeep looking. more...

A tall blonde entered the room, wearing a yellow sash that marked her as advocate. Two men followed her, carrying papers. She was lean and long-legged, with a graceful neck and nice ankles, and William took a minute to watch her come down the aisle. She looked high-strung and difficult. Still, good legs. Mmm, smelled of mimosa, too. Expensive scent. Cerise smelled better, when clean. more...

Cough clenched, and vomited something chunky into the grass. Terrific. The big dog sat on his haunches and looked at William with a perplexed expression on his face. "Well, eat it back up," William hissed. "Don't waste it." Cough gave a tiny whine. "I'm not eating your puke." Cough panted at him. "No. more...

Cerise ran through the course in her mind. "Three miles, stream on the right, Mozer Lake, Tinybear, Bigbear, Miller's Path." She paused, not sure if she'd said it correctly. "Three miles, stream on the right, Mozer Lake, Tinybear, Bigbear, Miller's Path." "Thank you, Dora. Put the sword back into Backpack and we'll go." He nodded at the river. "Who is Dora?" "You are. Dora the Explorer. Vamanos. Put the sword away or I will take it from you. more...

William strode to her. That's how it's done. Drink it in. She surveyed the carnage behind him. "Did you have fun?" He showed her his teeth. "Yes. Now they won't take you anywhere." Cerise stepped closer to him, so close he only needed to lean in and dip his head and he would kiss her. Since he saved her, maybe he could just grab her and- "That was the stupidest thing you have done since I've met you," she ground out through her teeth. Belay the grabbing. more...

Let's have a partnership, Kate. I offer honesty, Kate. I don't have have outrun the Beast Lord I just pissed off, Kate. I only have to outrun you and hit you with my car as I hightail it out of here. more...

I just had to stay cool. Zen. No punching in the face. Punching would not be Zen. more...

Why couldn't she have gotten another Edger or some dimwit from the Broken for a passenger? No, she got Lord Leather Pants here. more...

Just reflecting on the fact that when the Universe punches you in the teeth, it never just lets you fall down. It kicks you in the ribs a couple of times and dumps mud on your head. more...

People can snap. People have a limit. And some people are just plain nuts. more...

Is there anything else you need to tell me?" Every time I look at you, I have to put a leash on myself. "No. more...

Voshak's hair, a pale blond braid, which he bleached, was his trademark. It made him memorable. That's how the slavers operated. They adopted costumes and personas, trying to make themselves larger-than-life and hoping to inspire fear. They counted on that fear. One could fight a man, but nobody could fight a nightmare. more...

You will tell me what you know now," he said. "Or?" He said nothing, so I elaborated. "See, this kind of threat usually has an 'or' attached to it. Or an 'and'. 'Tell me and I'll allow you to live' or something like that. more...

What did you write on here? 'Don't die'?" "No, I wrote, 'Don't be an asshole!'"I headed for the house. "On yours or mine?" "On yours." "Well, in that case, your magic isn't working. I'm still an asshole. more...

He snarled. I showed him my teeth. A rolled-up newspaper landed on my head and then on Jim's. "None of that in my house!" Oh my gods. The alpha of Clan Cat just got smacked with a rolled-up newspaper. more...

Raphael turned me over and looked at me, his face close to mine. "You and I will never be done.You're my mate." He kissed the corner of my mouth. I almost cried. "I stopped sleeping since you left," he said "I'll sleep for a couple of hours, wake up, you're not there." I closed my eyes. "I need an answer, Andrea," he said. "An answer?" "Mate. Yes or no." "Do you need to ask?" I whispered. "You're my mate. more...

My tablecloth was missing in action and long, jagged scratches covered the table's surface.The scratches looked suspiciously like letters. I climbed on a chair and looked at it from above. MINE. Oh, that's great. Fantastic. So mature. Perhaps he would pull my pigtails next or stick a tack on my seat. more...

You will not pass!" Roman thundered. Great. Now he had decided he was Gandalf. more...

I will devour you. I will lick your bones clean and crush them between my teeth. I will suck the marrow..." "That's nice," Kate said. "The shield. more...

Since we're playing that game... I tilted my face up to his and gave him a lovesick gaze. "Do you have to sneeze?" he asked. "Be quiet. I'm pretending to enjoy your company, just as you said." "Try not to strain anything." "Oh, I won't. I'm very good at faking it." That shut him up. more...

Curran and Kate stood by the door. "I can't believe you decided to come down here and check on me," she said. "The guy once handed you a fan and told you to fan yourself if the sight of his naked torso was too much." "That was like a year ago. Will you let it go already?" "No." Curran grabbed her and pulled her to him, kissing her. "Never." She kissed him back and smiled. Awww. Kate and the Beast Lord sitting in a tree... more...

You're touching me," I chided him. He caressed my back, sliding his hand down, hitting every sensitive point I hadn't even known I had. "No, this is touching you. That was just accidental contact." "Oh? Good to know. If you touch me again and I break your arm off, you can be sure it will be completely accidental. more...

You're the most experienced investigator I've got who's not tied up in something, and I can't ask the Consort to look look into it, because A) she and Curran are working on something else and B) when the Consort gets involved, half of the world blows up. more...

Did those nice church ladies come by again?" He nodded. "I asked them if a man died and then the woman remarried, and then the three of them met in heaven, would it be a sin for them to have a threesome, since they were all married in God's eye. And they decided they were late to be somewhere else. more...

I don't trust tragedies much. It's easy to make a person sad by showing him something tragic. We all recognize when sad things happen: someone dies, someone loses a loved one, young love is crushed. It's much harder to make a man laugh-what's funny to one person isn't funny to another. more...

If I lost him here, to this idiotic fight, after I fought and guarded him for two weeks, after I cried and thought he was dying, I would find him in the afterlife and I would murder him again. more...

Are you implying that our relationship is like a Spanish soap opera?" "I'm not implying. I'm saying it. more...

Bad days, good days, 'I'll cut you if you look at me the wrong way' days. I'll take them all. more...

Look, he isn't even concerned." I poured the tea. "He's concerned, Mother. He just doesn't panic, because he's in charge and if he panics, everybody else will panic." "I can jog around the room pretending to scream if you would like," Jim offered. more...

It's never a good thing when the black volhv says "Uh-oh" and then runs for his life. more...

Your favorite volhv showed up half an hour ago, complaining about his lack of sleep and stupid gods. He says he brought his Batman belt. more...

How is it that I could run into a gunfight against overwhelming odds and put myself between bullets and civilians, but I couldn't scrape together enough courage to speak to the one person who mattered the most to me? more...

I batted my eyelashes and did my best to appear dumb as a board more...

We took a right at the fork, heading farther north. The charred houses continued. To the right, a large sign nailed to an old telephone post shouted DANGER in huge red letters. Underneath in crisp black letters was written: IM-1: Infectious Magic Area Do Not Enter Authorized Personnel Only A second smaller sign under the first one, written on a piece of plastic with permanent marker, read: Keep out, stupid. "We aren't going to keep out, are we?" Ascanio asked. "No." "Awesome. more...

I have a serious question." "I will give a serious answer." "Can a god be killed?" The humor drained from Roman's face. "Well, that depends on if you're a pantheist or a Marxist." "What's the difference?" "The first believes that divinity is the universe. The two are synonymous and nonexistent without each other. The second believes in anthropocentrism, seeing man in the center of the universe, and god as just an invention of human conscience. Of course, if you follow Nietzsche, you can kill God just by thinking about him. more...

Is he a scumbag in training?" Richard glanced at the gunman. "At least have the decency to hold the gun properly, you fool. If you don't know how, pass it to someone who does. I'm not going to suffer being shot at by anything less than a full- fledged lowlife. (Richard) more...

Dali blinked at me. "Would you mind making coffee while you're dancing? I smell it on the bottom shelf, either first or second jar on the left." I opened the first jar and looked inside. Coffee. The label said BORAX. "What's up with the labels?" Dali shrugged. "You're in the house of a cat whose job is to spy. He thinks he's clever. I'd be careful with the silverware drawer. There might be a bomb in it. more...

True strength isn't in killing-or ignoring-your opponent, it's in having the will to shield those who need your protection. more...

The dark scary servant of all evil was on his way to rescue me. Somehow that thought failed to make me warm and fuzzy. more...

You could buy a car for fifty thousand dollars. A really nice car." Ascanio's eyes lit up. "A Hummer. You could buy a converted Hummer." "You don't need a Hummer." I said. "Chicks dig the Hummer." "You don`t need any chicks either." He gave me an injured look. "I have needs." "I have needs too and right now I need you to concentrate on tracking down Jamar`s collection. Get to it." - Andrea & Ascanio more...

How did the hearing go?" she asked. "We won, sort of," Kaldar said. "We die at dawn." "The court gave the Sheeriles twenty-four hours," William corrected. "Yes, but 'we die at dawn the day after tomorrow' doesn't sound nearly as dramatic." "Does it have to be dramatic all the time?" Catherine murmured. "Of course. Everyone has a talent. Yours is crocheting and mine is making melodramatic statements. more...

The first rule of etiquette a boy learns when he's about to enter society is that civility is due to all women. No provocation, no matter how unjust and rudely delivered, can validate a man who fails to treat a woman with anything less than utmost courtesy." The boys hung on his every word. He glanced in her direction. "I have met some incredibly unpleasant women, and I have never failed in this duty. But I must admit: your sister may prove my undoing. more...

It's my uniform. Everyone in my company wears it." "It's hideous." Rose felt her hackles rise. The neon green uniform was hideous, but she didn't appreciate him pointing it out. She opened her mouth. "Yet despite it, you look lovely," he said. "Flattery will get you nowhere," she told him. "It's not flattery," he said coldly. "Flattery requires exaggeration. I'm merely stating a fact. You're a beautiful woman wearing an ugly sack of unnatural color. more...

He stepped forward, took a deep breath, and doubled over in a sneezing fit. My werewolf was allergic to tortoises. Why me? more...

Every handsome man had a flaw. It was just her luck that in William's case that flaw was lunacy. more...

You said your cousin was a necromancer. You know how the natural necromancers operate?" They twisted the head off your favorite doll, stuffed a dead bird into it, and made it walk around. And then they were puzzled why you got upset. more...

They hold a grudge like it was their family treasure. more...

Wiggles hissed as I crossed the floor toward the throne. She fixed me with her empty hateful eyes and smelled the air, her long tongue shivering through the slit of the lipless mouth. Nice to see you too, sweetheart. Remember my cattle prod? more...

Only poor people are weird. Rich people are eccentric. more...

Why could nothing with Kate be simple? Why couldn't Jim ever just come by to tell me that he had bowled a perfect game or benched a personal best. Maybe finally asked that weird tiger girl out. more...

Cute. I think I would prefer to be stabbed in the eye rather than be called cute. more...

Give me an opportunity to fail," Saiman said. "I promise my corpse won't interrupt your 'I told you so' speech. more...

I gave him a smile. I was aiming for sweet, but he turned a shade paler and scooted a bit farther from me. Note to self: work more on sweet and less on psycho-killer. more...

Do you like my working persona?" Saiman asked softly. "An aesthetically pleasing combination of intelligence and elegance, wouldn't you say?" Aren't we pleased with ourselves. "Are you Chinese, Japanese, half-white? I can't tell, your features are neither here nor there." "I'm inscrutable, mysterious and intellectual." He forgot conceited. "Did you have any trouble getting that ego through the door?" Saiman didn't even blink. "Not in the least. more...

Nobody ever died of being shot by a cookie. more...

If a cultural reference flies over a man's head, does it make a sound if nobody else gets it. more...

In a perfect world, Joshua's vertically gifted murderer would've had himself a monologue before rampaging, during which he loudly and clearly would've announced his full name, occupation, religious preference, preferably with his god's country and time period of origin, his goals, dreams, and aspirations, and the location of his lair. But nobody had ever accused post-Shift Atlanta of being perfect. more...

I stopped the blade two inches before it touched Andrea's neck. Because she was my best friend, and sticking knives into your best friend's windpipe was generally considered to be a social faux pas. more...

I will kill him." "Erra's eyebrows rose. "You"d have to go through me first." I shrugged. "I have to do something for a warm-up." She laughed softly. "That's the spirit. I do think you might be my favorite niece. more...

You replaced me with a shaved poodle?" "He's got mad skills." Derek's eyebrows crept up. "He can vomit and urinate at the same time and he does' make fun of my car. more...

Curran scrutinized Mart's face. "I ca' figure out if he wants to kill you or screw you." "I"ll be glad to make the choice for him." Curran looked back at me. "Why is it you always attract creeps?" "You tell me." Ha! Walked right into that one, yes, he did. more...

I took the jacket off, changed my T-shirt for a dark gray tank top, slipped on the tangle of the back sheath, and put the jacket on again. Thugs are us. Great. Just add a super-tight ponytail and loads of mascara, and I"d be ripe to play a supervillain's evil mistress. Ve haf vays of making you gif us your DNA sample. more...

Vampires smiled for many reasons, but when a vampire male smiled at you from this distance with that kind of look in his eyes it was done for one purpose only: to impress. Look at my big teeth. I'm an apex predator. My genetic material is awesome. more...

We have to get the Diamond. And Cesare's head." They looked at me. "Why the head?" Doolittle asked. "Because it's easy to carry and I can torture it for a long time." And I did' just say it out loud, did I? I checked their faces. Yep, I did. more...

What's the deal with the hair?" Curran tore his gaze from the book and grimaced. "Grows every flare. Ca' help it." We stared at each other. "Waiting for the Fabio joke," he said. more...

Good morning, Ms. Daniels. I'm calling to inform you that Julie has left our premises." Not again. Curran's arms closed around me and he hugged me to him. I leaned back against him. "How?" "She mailed herself. more...

Do you have spies in Clan Heavy?" "I have spies everywhere." I looked at Andrea, who was hoarding bacon on her plate. "She had tea with Mahon's wife." Andrea said. Aunt B looked at her. "You and I need to work on your air of mystery. more...

Is' that why you have that gun mounted on the front? Or is it for other reasons, because I would"ve thought that a man with your powers would be past the urge to compensate." Barabas grinned. "I had forgotten that talking to you is like trying to pet a cactus," Saiman said dryly. "Thank you for reminding me." "Always happy to oblige. more...

Other pirates leaped over the railing. One, two... seven... thirteen. A baker's dozen. Wait, fifteen. Eighteen... Twenty-one. The odds were' in our favor. "Maybe they just came over to borrow a cup of sugar," I said. Andrea barked a short laugh. Curran put his hand on my shoulder. "That's a lot of sugar. Must be a big cake. more...

Aha! So I'm not crazy." "You are most definitely crazy," Derek said. "But in a deranged, endearing way. more...

Barabas placed a stack on the table and held the chair out for me. "For you." "I'm hungry and I do' have time for this." Barabas's eyes held no mercy. "Make time, Alpha. You have two hands. You can eat and sign simultaneously." Curran grinned. "Enjoying my suffering?" I asked. "I find it hilarious that you"ll run into a gunfight with nothing but your sword, but paperwork makes you panic." Barabas put a thicker stack in front of him. "This is yours, m"lord." Curran swore. more...

I"d signed six things and my stack was' getting any smaller. It was like the paperwork was breeding while I worked. more...

Would you care for something to drink?" "Is it poisoned?" "It's Saturday," I said. "We only serve poison during the week. more...

Five minutes later, we were rolling around on the helipad as he tried to muscle his way out of my armlock, after slamming me onto the helipad. "I finally realized the source of your mutual attraction," Saiman said, his voice dry. I looked up. He was standing a few feet away. "Do enlighten us." Curran tried to roll into me to break the lock. Oh no you do'. "You both think violence is foreplay. more...

Aunt B walked out onto the helipad wearing loose yoga pants. "I'm just here to stretch. Kate, want to help?" "Sure." Thirty seconds later, as I was flying through the air, I decided that this was' the best idea. more...

One day, she"d find a way to live her life to the fullest. She was sure of it. She just had no idea how she would manage it. more...

I should"ve been furious, but for some reason I was'. Maybe because I knew he was telling the truth. Maybe because Voron left me just like that, without the much-needed explanations. Maybe because things I had learned about him since his death had made me doubt everything he"d ever said to me. Whatever the case, I felt only a hollow, crushing sadness. How touching. I understood my adoptive father's killer. Maybe after this was over, Hugh's head and I could sing "Kumbaya" together by the fire. more...

A massive beast dashed along the mountain apex. Astamur reached for his rifle. "A demon?" "No, not a demon." I might have preferred one . "That's my boyfriend." Atsany and the shepherd turned to look at me. "Boyfriend?" Astamur said. Curran saw us. He paused on a stone crag and roared. The raw declaration of strength cracked through the mountains, rolling down the cliffs like a rockslide. "Yep. Do' worry. He's harmless. more...

...Something is' right with you and this property. Strange things happen around it. I do' know what is going on, but I will find out. You could make it easier on yourself by coming clean." "Sure. This is a magic bed-and-breakfast and the two guys in my kitchen are aliens from outerspace. more...

I'd give him a cup of coffee and a big helping of a knuckle sandwich. Generosity was a virtue and I was in the mood to be extremely virtuous. more...

Superstitions add texture to life. more...

I saved the baby. I saved her. For you." - Bran more...

The idiot had shot their own dog. That's what happened when the destructive potential of a man's weapons exceeded his intelligence. more...


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